04 Apr not sabotage
I was going to call this post ‘Sabotage’, but it’s not sabotage because sabotage is “a deliberate action aimed at weakening a polity or corporation through subversion, obstruction, disruption or destruction”. If only I knew the meaning of words (who on earth knows what a ‘polity’ is?). Anyway, here’s the thing; this isn’t Clare. It’s me, Simon. Maybe subversion is the word I’m looking for, but I’m not going to look it up. It’s normally Clare here, writing something worthwhile, but instead it’s me, writing any old stuff.
Of course I should be working. I’m over at Clare’s now, and Clare said to me “you can help”. I asked how and before I knew it I was counting badges and preparing STRANGENESS in SPACE stuff for our forthcoming trip to Stoke (do come by and see us at Stoke Con Trent on the 17th April). I’m not so good at counting badges (badgers, yes… because you rarely see more than a few of them together… oh, and like badgers, our badges come in a set), where was I? Yes, I should be working. So… I sneaked away from badge counting and headed down to the basement. I’m in the basement now and I’ve hacked into Clare’s account like a low-rent Lord Snowdon. Now I can do what I like (though not sabotage; I come to strengthen, not weaken, the Strangeness website).
Have you heard about STRANGENESS in SPACE? I have. And do you know what? It’s the funniest thing ever. This is a fact. We have been using the new WordPress App, LAFFTometer, to measure the laughs sensed by computers used in the listening process of STRANGENESS in SPACE. In just the first week of measurement (according to the International System of Units) our LAFFTometer rating achieved a luminous efficacy of a 540 THz source (this might not sound like much but, to put it in a historical perspective, only two other audio comedies have ever exceeded such a measurement; The Goons, and David Attenborough’s Laughter Loft, years before he did all the animal stuff).
So, we’re chuffed.
Have a listen. There’s three episodes full of laughter. There’s me and Trev (commonly known as Trev and Simon), there’s Sophie Aldred, Doon Mackichan, Alexei Sayle, Rufus Hound, Carol Cleveland, and Lotts Moore. They’re all free! Episode four is in the making and will guest star the fantastic Paterson Joseph.
Oh, and did I mention they’re crowdfunded? Now here’s the thing; this crowd is not like a Covent Garden street theatre thing. It’s not like we go out and about, on unicycles, collecting money from people in the street. It’s a modern day internet thing where the crowd only exists in our own heads (like the Cloud, where some of you keep your most important documents… no one would really put all their most precious stuff, and their music, and their photos, in a cloud; it would be the act of a fool. No matter how fluffy the cloud, the chances are your things would fall to the ground, or be hit by the wing of a plane, or a goose). So no! There’s no crowd and there’s no cloud. Other than the ones we make. So go ahead, become part of our imaginary crowd, and have a wander around the shop with them. Our shop’s imaginary too. But the things we sell in there are real, and we will send them to you. And we will use the money to make more STRANGENESS in SPACE. We’re living in a Modern Age. Some even call it the Future… or The Footur if you fancy. Join us, be part of it. Join the Crowd in the Cloud –
Sorry? What Clare? More badges to count? Coming.